


Babang Luksa

by bukkunkun



Series: Miss You [1]
Category: Big Hero 6 (2014)
Genre: Brotherly Love, Family Loss, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hiro Needs a Hug, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Moving On
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-22
Updated: 2014-11-22
Packaged: 2018-02-26 14:40:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2655698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bukkunkun/pseuds/bukkunkun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ba•bang luk•sa<br/>/bəˈbaŋ luksa/<br/><i>noun</i><br/>to lower the black veil; the end of mourning after a year</p><p>A year in the life without Tadashi Hamada.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Babang Luksa

**Author's Note:**

> so ok bh6 destroyed me and now i'm gonna destroy the fandom haha;;;;;;
> 
> anyway enjoy this first fic of mine and i hope you cry
> 
> no i mean it
> 
> please cry i'm trash

* * *

**_5 Seconds_ **

* * *

The explosion shook the ground beneath him, shaking his wobbling legs out beneath his frail weight, as he fell to his knees, eyes wide as heat, burning, burning heat caressed his cheeks, drying tears that had yet to spill as he screamed his throat hoarse.

“Tadashi!”

He saw a dark blob fly towards him, stark black against burning yellow-red-white.

“Tadashi!”

There were arms wrapping around him, someone was screaming, and his vision was blurring as his entire brain flared with activity, like bursts of colour behind his eyes, tiny rainbows of light reflecting over the broken shards of his shattered mind and heart.

“Tadashi, please!”

He lurched forward, movement sluggish and desperate as the rainbows gathered in his eyes, round balls of colour in collecting tears as he pushed forward, small hands reaching out to touch larger ones, calloused ones, warm ones, ones that held his own for years, ones that wiped away blood from cuts or tears from big brown eyes, but they weren’t there.

The fire overpowered the rainbows in his eyes as his hands closed around rough cloth—a cap—as he cried and cried and cried, begging for this all to be a joke, begging for those arms to let him go, begging for his beloved brother back.

* * *

  ** _3 Hours_**

* * *

The fire was over, and the ground was wet with water.

The building was unrecognisable.

But he still knelt there, in his aunt’s arms, now softly sobbing and whimpering into her shoulder as his eyes stayed trained on the shell of a building in front of him.

“The fire’s over, Hiro.” She was saying to deaf ears. “Hiro, let’s go home.”

He wanted to cry, to kick, to scream, to die in there along with him.

“Ma’am.” A fireman came up to them and his aunt reluctantly let him go to talk to the man in hushed tones.

Tadashi was in there.

A hand tangled itself in his hair and he looked up at his aunt, who was struggling to stay strong in front of him, and he knew.

His life was over.

“Let’s go home, Hiro.” She said quietly, bundling him up in her arms as she sunk down onto the ground next to him, pulling him close as he felt her tears wet his shoulder. “Please.”

The fire was over.

Tadashi’s life was over.

* * *

  ** _2 Weeks_**

* * *

“Hiro?” Cass softly said, opening the door without a sound, and found the boy curled up not in his bed, but in his brother’s, and she found tears stinging her eyes and a heavy weight settling in her stomach. “Baby?” she said, even softer, her mind moving back to a time when she first had two young boys under her care, where one was a silent young teen with a maturity far beyond his age, and another was a livelier young boy with eyes always wide with curiosity and love, and she found herself wishing for those days back, wishing for a way—any way—to bring them back.

She set the plate of food down on the window ledge as she passed it, and approached the lump on Tadashi’s bed—Tadashi’s old bed, her mind supplied, and she tried not to think about the coffin she watched being lowered into the grave, empty, save for a few ashes and remains, and she pushed the thoughts to the back of her head as a single tear rolled down her cheek, unheeded, but she wiped it away and plastered on a smile for the boy as she sat down next to the lump and hugged it.

“Hiro.” She softly whispered. “Classes start next week.”

Hiro didn’t reply—as he always did since Tadashi—

Her mind stopped, refused to supply the word, and she continued, swallowing the lump in her throat down.

“Hiro, you can still apply.”

He didn’t reply, but she could feel him whimpering and shaking, and she knows he was still crying. He was still hurting. He was still not moving on.

She couldn’t blame him. It was hard enough for her, and considering how close they are—were, and her throat tightened up a little.

“Alright, just take your time.” She told him, kissing his hair gently, leaning forward to give him a hug before turning to pick up old clothes off the floor. She took the plate she had left there that morning—still untouched, and she felt her stomach sink a little—and turned to head out the door. “Hiro, please eat.” She said mostly to the door, but she knew he was listening. “I know it’s hard to—to,” she stopped, steadied herself, and continued, “It’s hard to come into terms that he’s gone, but that doesn’t mean you have to go too.”

Cass stopped to steady herself, and decided not to speak any more. The lump in her throat was too large now and she knew if she said anything, the dam would break and she would lose all the strength she mustered just to not break down in front of Hiro.

That wouldn’t be fair, for the both of them.

“Aunt Cass,” Hiro’s tiny voice made its way to her ears and her eyes widened as she turned around to look at her nephew—and upon seeing him two more tears rolled down her cheeks.

He looked so small and broken—his eyes were red and puffy, and sunken and dark from the sleepless nights. His small body was wrapped in Tadashi’s old sheets and his hat was crumpled up in his hands, fingers fragile and thin and shaking. He was pale and his expression abysmal, and the look in his eyes were so lost, so lonely, and she knew, right now, she looked the same.

“I’m sorry.” he choked out to her and she sighed, shook her head, and put the things in her hands down to the ground. He watched her with tired, sad eyes as she made her way back to him and pulled him into a hug. She felt tears wet her shoulder and she shook, her tears starting to flow. “I’m… sorry.”

“’S not your fault, baby.” She whispered tenderly, brokenly, as she kissed his ears, his hair, stroked his back, squeezed his tiny body tightly, “It’s—it’s not your fault.” Her voice dissolved into her own sobs, and Hiro hugged her a little tighter.

He rubbed his face into her shoulder and she dried her tears in his soft hair.

“You know, I miss Tadashi.” She whispered to him, and at the mention of his name, Hiro whimpered and hugged her tighter.

“I miss him too,” he whispered, and that was the last thing he said for that evening, as aunt and nephew stayed with each other for the rest of the night, holding onto each other, and letting their tears out.

* * *

**_1 ½ Months_ **

* * *

When the entire thing was over and Abigail was safe in a hospital and Callaghan was jail and they were all in a hospital with Krei fussing over all of them apologetically, Hiro cried.

The five of them were all in a large-enough ward in a big hospital in downtown San Fransokyo when it happened. They were all talking about what just happened and how the shock was settling in as they all lay in their beds, suits gone and dressed in comfortable hospital gowns with IV’s on stands connected to their arms. Honey was just about to talk about how frightened she was when she was trapped in the shell she made herself when they heard a sniffle.

The four of them turned their heads to look at Hiro, the smallest-looking of all of them, suit gone, Baymax gone—brother gone. He was sitting up in his bed, back propped up against a pillow and hugging Baymax’s hand tightly as they watched his eyes well up with tears and silently slip down his round, reddening cheeks.

Honey was the first to get up from her bed, and soon Wasabi followed, with Gogo and Fred at their heels (IV stands clacking as they dragged their own stand along) as they crowded around the boy, each of them breaking a little at the sight of Hiro, having gained nothing and losing everything he loved, weeping, tiny, alone.

They all shared a look together, and silently they nodded at each other as Honey bent down to pull Hiro into a hug.

“It’s over now.” She said to him, stroking his hair, as Wasabi wrapped his arms around them. “Hiro.”

“Hey,” Gogo said as she squeezed herself into the space left over, Fred draping himself over the scant space between Wasabi and Gogo, “Hiro, it’s going to be okay.”

The boy hiccupped, and cried harder as Tadashi’s friends hugged him tighter, warm, reassuring, when everything he loved was gone.

By the time he had calmed down, the four of them had already decided something they knew from the start was set in stone the moment they met him:

If Tadashi would do everything to keep Hiro safe and happy, then as his best friends, so would they.

Their tears could come later. Hiro had lost so much.

When he had finally fallen asleep and Krei had visited them to apologise for a third time, he asked them for any ideas about the name of a new building he was going to build in the SFIT—right on top of the old burned building, and at once, they answered simultaneously:

“Tadashi Hamada.”

* * *

  ** _2 Months_**

* * *

Hiro was stuck.

It had been a while since he was stuck on a project on robotics, during the whole Yokai-Callaghan-Silent Sparrow-Krei fiasco— _thing_ , he had no problems with inventing things—he was at the top of his game, with all the suits he had made for Tadashi’s friends—they were _his_ friends now, too—coming one after the other in seconds. Even his and Baymax’s armour came to him, easy as a breeze, but now, a month after he lost Baymax and found Abigail Callaghan, it seemed like his brain had finally decided to come to a stop.

Wasabi, whom the entire lab had agreed was one of the few people relatively fluent in what they had coined as ‘Tadash-ese’ (Hiro later learned that was what they called Tadashi’s apparently _appalling_ handwriting), had been helping him look over Tadashi’s notes on Baymax that evening. After he saw the programming chip in the robot’s armour glove he had been working like a man starved night and day to recreate his brother’s robot.

“Hiro, anything you want in particular?” Wasabi’s voice called to him from outside his brother’s lab—now _his_ lab in SFIT—as he looked up from the green programming chip he had been staring at for a time he wasn’t too sure how long.

“Nothing really,” he replied, as Wasabi knocked on the glass door and peered in.

“I’m getting you the vegetarian burrito from the cafeteria.” Wasabi declared as he walked in, “I don’t know what you’ve been letting Fred feed you, but if it’s up to me, I want you eating healthy.”

Hiro laughed at that, and made a face. “But vegetables are gross,” he replied, and Wasabi looked petulant.

“ _Healthy_.” He drew out the vowels in the word, and Hiro snickered as the tall man made a threatening face (that, really, wasn’t that threatening at all). “If you wanna grow taller, you’re gonna eat those greens.”

“Sure, fine,” Hiro grinned, shrugged. “As long as you throw in some nachos with that.”

Wasabi shook his head and sighed dramatically, but he was grinning as he came up to Hiro to ruffle his hair, the young teen laughing brightly as after Wasabi messed up his hair, combed it down with his fingers to a more acceptable appearance.

“Fine, fine.” Wasabi replied, “I’ll be back in 5 minutes.” he checked his watch, “After this, though, you’re heading right home back to Cass, it is way past the optimum time for 14-year-olds to be sleeping.”

“I’m not a baby,” Hiro protested, amused, but Wasabi waved a finger in his face.

“No, you’re _our_ baby.” He grinned, and Hiro stuck his tongue out at him.

“You guys at the nerd lab are gross,” he replied, before waving the laughing Wasabi goodbye. As the door shut, he sighed deeply and turned to look at the chip resting on his table.

“I didn’t think you’d be this tough to make, Baymax.” He laughed sadly, thumbing the label Tadashi had written on the chip and smiling softly. “You really outdid yourself this time, nii-chan.”

He paused for a moment, eyes widening as his hand shot up to his mouth. He hadn’t said that ever since…

He shook his head.

Ever since that night when Tadashi had helped him come up with the idea for the microbots.

He felt throat tighten and his eyes burn a little as he looked outside his window to see the science hall being built right across his building, right on top of the building that had burned down, taking Tadashi with it. Krei had funded the reconstruction of the hall, stating with pride the name he had planned to give it:

“The Tadashi Hamada Hall,” Hiro read the sign outside the construction area, and felt the sound of his brother’s name echo in his head like the sound of a bell tolling the click of the clock-hand to the next hour. “Who’d have thought.”

He turned his attention back to the chip on his desk with a sigh, and looked over his brother’s notes once more. Unlike the happy, clean handwriting on the chip Baymax’s entirety was on, the writing here on the myriad kinds of papers on his desk (one was even a napkin from the café across campus, complete with coffee-mug stains and the smell of his brother’s perfume) was an entirely different story, a wild roller-coaster of neatness and messiness rolled into one big mess that was Tadashi Hamada’s notes on creating his final masterpiece.

Wasabi had joked they should get a pharmacist to read the notes for them one time, when Tadashi’s handwriting had morphed into a sharply-looping jagged permutation of it to the point it looked like it had been scratched at by chicken feet.

Looking down at that particular page now, Hiro reverently touched the lettering on the paper—it was like it was indented into the paper, like Tadashi had been pressing his pen down heavily on it while writing, and when Hiro took a look at the date on the paper, he understood why.

That was one of those nights when he and Tadashi had a huge fight about Hiro’s less than savoury habit of getting involved in bot-fighting. He remembered screaming at his big brother things he regretted saying hours later as he nursed a throbbing cheek, as Tadashi just calmly took it in stride.

“ _You’re just saying that because you think I’m your responsibility! You only care about how this makes_ you _look!_ ”

He didn’t miss the look of hurt that had crossed Tadashi’s face when he said that, and when Hiro had run out of things to say he gruffly excused himself and pretended to sleep, as Tadashi turned to his desk and pulled a rare all-nighter of his own volition.

Later that dawn, when Hiro realised what he had done, he had climbed into his brother’s bed beside him and snuggled against his chest, waking him up from a fitful sleep, earning him a mumble of his name.

He swallowed his pride and buried his face into Tadashi’s chest, inhaling deeply his brother’s comforting scent and apologised into the cotton of Tadashi’s shirt.

He was forgiven with the sound of a rumbling chuckle and warm arms wrapping around him and squeezing tightly, a light kiss on his forehead followed by a “go to sleep, Hiro,” lulling him into the sweetness of rest and darkness.

Hiro didn’t miss the small “I love you, little brother,” that Tadashi whispered before he had fallen asleep.

He blinked when he saw a teardrop in the middle of the paper and he panicked, pulling back abruptly—to bump into Wasabi’s broad chest. His eyes widened and a few more tears rolled down his cheek as he was pulled into a warm hug (toasty and kind, but it wasn’t _Tadashi_ ), a large hand stroking his hair reassuringly as his hands came up to ball in the hem of Wasabi’s shirt.

“I remember that day,” he said, his voice rumbling through Hiro’s head as he rested it on his chest. “Tadashi was group-messaging us well into the morning.” Wasabi picked up the paper and inspected it. “He was pretty angry.”

“I made him angry at me.” Hiro murmured, “I said a lot of things I regret.”

“We all do.” Wasabi replied softly, setting the paper down before taking a seat pulling Hiro into his lap as he cuddled the sniffling boy. “But he was never angry at you.”

Hiro looked up at him, eyes wide and cheeks wet with tears, and Wasabi shrugged, smiling sadly as he thumbed away Hiro’s tear tracks. “He was going on and on and on at how he was such a terrible big brother that couldn’t protect you or save you when you got into trouble.” Wasabi’s eyes were shining with tears that threatened to spill, as he laughed half-heartedly. “You would not _believe_ the things he said about himself since you got hurt.”

Hiro managed a grin. “I think I can imagine.”

Wasabi laughed at that, truly, sounding relieved, as he let Hiro go, pressing a wrapped burrito into his hands. “Here, dinner.” He said, “Why don’t we take a break from rebuilding Baymax tonight and do something else?”

“Like what?” Hiro asked, unwrapping the burrito, as Wasabi set down Hiro’s nachos (covered in so much cheese that made Hiro’s mouth water slightly and made him feel a little sorry for the neat-freak Wasabi for making himself go through the trauma of filling a tray with that much cheese) and pulling up a chair for Hiro to sit in.

“I don’t know, talk?” Wasabi looked around the room. “You know, out of all of us, Tadashi played the most pranks. Even on Professor Callaghan.”

Hiro took a bite of his burrito, grinning. “No way.” He spoke through the food in his mouth.

Wasabi grinned. “Yes, way. There was this one time…”

And so they talked, well into the night, the both of them laughing through it all as they shared stories of Tadashi with each other, sharing the nachos as they talked, Wasabi complaining all the way about how ‘unhealthy this whole cheese thing was’ and ‘he should be grateful he stomached standing there at the cheese filler for longer than he wanted’, and Hiro just laughed through it all until he cried.

Eventually the boy genius’ body caught up with him and fatigue took his consciousness away from him when he fell asleep leaning against the wall, nearly-finished nachos forgotten beside his hand as Wasabi stopped talking to realise his listener had fallen asleep.

He smiled fondly at the boy and closed up his hoodie around him to keep him warm before getting up to pack up their food wrappers and tossed them in the trash. He tidied up a little more, but not too much—he knew how people were with their own workspaces, Tadashi was quite an extreme example of that, and he wasn’t going to take any chances with Hiro—before easily picking the boy up and heading out the door.

Gogo was still at her workplace as he headed to the door, and she looked up to tell them goodbye when she stopped upon seeing Hiro sleeping in Wasabi’s hands.

She pointed at the boy, eyebrow raised, and Wasabi smiled at her reassuringly. Gogo opened her mouth to speak, but he pressed a finger to his lips to keep her quiet.

She grinned a little, and opted to give them a small wave of goodbye.

He returned her wave with his own, and headed out the building to the parking lot. Carefully he bundled Hiro into the passenger seat of his new car, buckling him in safely to keep him from rolling around, before sliding into the driver’s seat. He started up the engine to hear Hiro mumbling in his sleep.

“Mm… gummy bears,” the boy mumbled, and Wasabi snickered a little as he turned to look at Hiro’s smiling face, the epitome of cuteness sleeping in the front seat of his car, when the boy’s brow creased a little, his smile curling into an adorable pout. “Nii-chan, no, gimme back my… my… gummy,” he halted in his speech, snored a little, and giggled. “Tadashi!”

Wasabi watched Hiro turn, smiling, lost in a land of dreams when he had all he loved still with him, when the days were happy and complete and sweet, and he felt his heart break a little.

He turned to grip the wheel, and his eyes fell on the sign outside the new building being constructed and his heart ached a little, as he shook his head and started getting the car out of the parking lot.

_Tadashi: no seriously guys I’m the worst thing in the world to have let Hiro get hurt._

_Gogo: get over it you big loser he’s fine_

_Honey: It’s okay, Tadashi, people make mistakes! Don’t blame yourself too much! ^^_

_Tadashi: Hiro’s all I have left, I can’t make mistakes!_

_Fred: idk just take him out to the park or smth?_

_Me: he’s not a dog!_

_Tadashi: he’s going out bot fighting and getting hurt and it’s all my fault. I haven’t stayed with him long enough and he hasn’t learned to take care of himself_

_Gogo: TADASHI_

_Gogo: CLAM DOWN IT’S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD_

_Gogo: CALM*_

_Me: gogo please don’t use caps_

_Gogo: no but really tadashi_

_Gogo: hiro is gonna be ok_

_Honey: You’re doing the best you can! And you’re doing great!_

_Tadashi: guys_

_Me: tadashi, hiro’s just growing up._

_Me: difficulties are part of that and hey if he loves you he knows when to say sorry_

_Tadashi: to be honest I can’t wait to finish Baymax so Hiro would just be safe all the time_

(Gogo had then messaged him, Honey and Fred in a different group chat, saying “Brother complex alert!”. He had replied with a sticker of an unamused Pusheen.)

_Tadashi: I’m gonna tear my hair out god I’m so mad_

_Me: if you’re going to beat yourself up, don’t. If you’re so concerned with Hiro the last thing you should do is beat yourself up. What if that just makes him freak out more?_

_Honey: And it’s completely unproductive! Just give it some time and Hiro will come around, Tadashi._

_Me: you two should really talk it out. Literally the best solution there is._

_Gogo: guys it’s 3 we have a 7am class todaaaayyyyy_

_Me: omg you’re right EVERYONE TO BED_

_Honey: night! ^^_

_Gogo: i think freds already offline_

_Gogo: night_

_Me: tadashi go to bed_

_Tadashi: night guys_

_Me: night!_

_Gogo: no but really tadashi i think hiro gets you love him wouldn’t he have run away if he didn’t (Seen 9:30AM)_

At a red light, he pulled at the hand brake and looked back at Hiro, who had fallen silent, the crease in his brow deepening as the sweet smile turned into a frown, lips caught between teeth and tiny whimpers escaping his lips.

Shushing him gently, Wasabi leant forward and smoothed back Hiro’s hair, relieved when he saw the crease disappear and a peaceful expression cross Hiro’s face.

“Tadashi loves you, Hiro.” He murmured. “He really, really does.”

“Love... you… nii-chan.” The boy mumbled, his small hand gripping Wasabi’s shirt lightly, and the man’s heart swelled a little as he gave in and leant forward to kiss the boy’s forehead, earning him a sleepy smile. “Love… everyone. Miss you.”

“Love you too, Hiro.” He murmured, turning his attention back to the road, wiping a tear from his eye. “And yeah, I miss him too.”

He took off the handbrake and continued driving Hiro home in silence, thinking of fire and brothers and sakura leaves falling in the spring, and Tadashi, in a time where he wished he was still here to see it all.

He drops Hiro off to Cass with a smile and a salute, and opted to cry alone in his car, missing his best friend dearly.

* * *

  ** _5 ½ Months_**

* * *

The first time Hiro got seriously hurt in a fight the rest of the team nearly forgot how to breathe.

The usual things he would get, bruises or tiny cuts, they were okay, they weren’t that life-threatening, or they could easily be hidden from Aunt Cass, but this… was something completely different.

Honey sat there, eyes wide in disbelief and shock as she cradled Hiro’s shaking body in her arms, staring down at the blood pooling in his clothes, her clothes, staining their armours red.

(The red was so stark against her yellow, and she itched to look away.)

“Baymax!” she screamed into the night sky, shrill and panicky, and the care robot landed heavily by her side, already scanning Hiro in her arms as around them Gogo, Wasabi and Fred struggled to fight off the incoming robots that came at them in unforgiving waves of jagged metal and scratched colour in splotches like some twisted palette.

“Hiro is steadily losing blood.” He stated in his usual, clipped tone. “I recommend medical attention from a hospital immediately.”

“Help me get him out of here!” Honey gasped, handing Hiro to him, as she turned to look at her team. “Guys—”

“Go, Honey! We got this!” Wasabi yelled over the sounds of Gogo’s growling and yelling. “I think Gogo’s hit Hulk mode—we’re gonna be okay!”

“So Gogo can go Hulk but I can’t become a legit fire-breathing lizard?” Came Fred’s complaint over at his side, and Honey managed a tiny laugh at Wasabi’s exasperated sigh.

“Go, Honey. Save Hiro.”

“You got it.” She nodded, and clambered onto Baymax’s shoulder as the robot adjusted his hold on Hiro carefully, before deploying his wings. “Thrusters, Baymax!”

“I advise you to hold on tight, Honey.” Baymax warned, before obeying, sending them flying straight through robots crowding overhead and into the clear night sky.

They had arrived at the nearest hospital by crashing through the front door, Honey tumbling off Baymax’s shoulders and rolling a ways away to get her to land safely. She hurriedly got up, ignoring the shocked stares of patients, nurses and doctors alike, running towards Baymax, who was slowly straightening up, still holding Hiro in his arms. She winced when she saw a new cut—a glass shard cut his cheek, she belatedly realised, and she plucked him out of Baymax’s arms and ran to the front desk.

“Emergency!” she barked, and immediately the receptionist called for an emergency response team to the scene. With a nod, she handed Hiro gently to the nurses and let him be placed on the stretcher after removing his armour, and when they sped off, she watched them leave and burst into the emergency ward, hand gripping her arm worriedly as she sunk down onto one of the cold metal chairs in the hallway.

Beside her she could hear Baymax approaching her and he came to a stop at her side.

“Your neurotransmitter levels are greatly decreased.” He said to her, “Diagnosis: anxiety.”

“Yeah, I,” she paused for a moment, and turned to look sadly at the door. “I’m worried for Hiro.”

“I recommend calming down techniques, such as slow breathing, and reassuring physical contact.” He paused for a moment, whirring as his eyes blinked, before he spoke up again: “Unfortunately, I cannot provide you with the latter, as I am equipped with my battle armour.”

She giggled a little and patted his arm. “It’s okay, Baymax.” She reassured, “I’ll be fine.”

The robot seemed satisfied with that, and stood to attention quietly.

Honey eyed the emergency ward doors and frowned.

This wasn’t the first time she was in a place like this, stuck waiting for something—anything to happen, worry eating at her heart like termites on wood, making it fragile, and just about ready to break.

The last time she had been staring at the emergency ward doors, she wasn’t in a battle suit, she wasn’t alone, and she was in love.

“How long do you think it’s going to take?” Gogo had asked her softly, her hand in Honey’s vice-like grip as the two of them sat together at the chairs, legs pressed against each other as beside them Wasabi and Fred stayed standing, wearing equally worried looks on their faces. “I don’t like waiting like this, it makes me too anxious.”

“Me too.” Wasabi replied, sombre. “If that idiot had just listened…”

Honey bit her lip and her grip on her phone tightened.

If only Tadashi had listened to Wasabi’s fussing and Professor Callaghan’s warnings.

A nurse stepped out of the ward, and their heads shot up.

“He’ll be fine,” she smiled reassuringly, and Honey felt a huge weight lift off her chest. “In about three hours he’ll be able to be go home. We just have to monitor his concussion a little more and if he’s okay we’ll discharge him.”

“Thank you,” Honey managed to choke out, already standing up, striding towards the doors, Gogo, Wasabi and Fred at her heels as she walked in, already making a beeline towards his bed, the rush of blood in her head too loud and blocking out the clacking of her heels. She pulled aside the curtains to reveal Tadashi grinning sheepishly up at them from where he was lying down in bed, one of his legs elevated and in a cast and his forehead wrapped with bandages.

“Hey, guys.” He sheepishly grinned. “Uh… those propulsion rockets were really darn heavy, heh.” Tadashi weakly grinned, but his expression turned into slightly panicked surprise when his four friends rushed around him to pull him into a hug.

“I told you,” Wasabi said after they pulled away, Tadashi laughing kindly at them all. “I _told_ you they were gonna fall—you didn’t listen!”

“Why were you rushing, anyway?” Gogo asked, popping her bubble gum. “Professor Callaghan specifically said they were to be handled carefully and _slowly_.” She drawled, and Tadashi laughed sheepishly.

“Ah, yeah… about that. I needed to rush.” He weakly reasoned. “I wanted to get home real quick.”

“What for?” Honey found her voice asking, but she herself was a little slow—still processing that a _hundred pounds_ of metal had _fallen towards Tadashi_.

He could have _died_.

“Oh, uh. Hiro, y’know, my—”

“Your little brother,” Wasabi and Gogo said as Tadashi did, and he shot them a deflated look.

“Hiro’s sick.” Tadashi continued, rolling his eyes at them. “The last time Aunt Cass checked for me about an hour ago he was still at 39 degrees, so I wanted to come home early to take care of him.”

“Brother Complex,” Gogo hissed at Honey, grinning as she elbowed her, but she stared down at him.

“Tadashi, you could have _died_.” She softly said.

“Yeah, well…” Tadashi paused for a moment, “I didn’t really consider that possibility.”

For the first time in all their lives, they finally saw Honey actually _hit_ someone.

She smacked him on the arm, slightly jostling his broken leg and he let out a particularly loud, totally embarrassing yelp that they all knew Fred would never let him live down.

“Would it kill you to be a little more selfish?” she asked, her voice cracking slightly as she raised it, and the four of them gaped at her for a long moment. "Tadashi, you could have _died_.”

The man hesitated for a moment, before sighing, and scratching the back of his head.

“Sorry.” he apologised, reaching forward to pinch her cheek lightly to cheer her up. “It really slipped my mind.”

“It could’ve helped if you were at least being careful.” She replied dejectedly, and he laughed a little at that.

“Maybe next time you could help remind me?” At that, Honey looked at him, eyes slightly wide and cheeks a little flushed, and Tadashi shrugged a little, his grin a little lopsided.

Gogo was grinning a little and elbowing Wasabi, who was mirroring her expression, waggling his eyebrows knowingly as the two of them backed off slightly to give the two of them some room.

Fred looked at them, confused, and then at Tadashi and Honey, before he spoke up.

“Honey, I think Tadashi just wiped glove powder on your face.”

She froze, and Tadashi’s grin widened into a full smile, as his shoulders began to shake.

“Tad—”

“I’m sorry, it was too good to pass up,” he managed despite his shaking voice, before Tadashi burst out in laughter, earning him another first from Honey—a successive beat-up on his arm, as Gogo slapped her forehead, mumbling something about a missed opportunity and Wasabi laughing along with Tadashi and Fred.

“Excuse me?” the nurse speaking up shook Honey out of her reverie, and she realised that, yes, she was in a battle suit, she was alone, and the person she was in love with…

“Yes?” she opted to say, getting up instead of thinking about that word.

“He’s going to be fine.” The nurse told her, and Honey felt a huge weight lift off her chest. “He’s a little anaemic but tomorrow he can go home after a night here.”

“Thank you,” she breathed, shaking the nurse’s hand before striding into the ward, Baymax at her heels as she made a beeline towards Hiro’s bed, pulling back the curtain to—relieved—see him peacefully sleeping, the bleeding finally stopped and an IV in his arm to supply him with the fluids and nutrients he needed to recover.

She leant against Baymax and sighed, thankful he was alright, but drained, thinking about the fight they ran away from, and how painfully similar this had been to the time she thought she lost Tadashi.

She looked down at Hiro and stroked his hair, earning her a sleepy smile and a mumbled, “Nii-chan,” and she frowned, turning to look at Baymax, her expression questioning.

“Nii-chan means big brother in Japanese,” he helpfully supplied, “I believe Hiro used to call his brother that when in private.”

“Oh,” she breathed, her chest sinking as the termites in her heart ate through the wood of it, and she felt her eyes sting.

“Miss you,” Hiro mumbled in his sleep, as Honey sunk down onto a chair Baymax quickly pulled up for her to sit on. “Miss… you… so… much…”

The boy sniffled a little and a tear rolled down his cheek. Feeling herself shatter a little more as she moved, Honey slipped her hand into Hiro’s, squeezing reassuringly as she wiped the tear track away.

“I miss him too, Hiro.” She whispered to him, leaning over to rest her head on his side, as she let her own tears fall.

“Love… nii-chan…”

“Yeah… me too.”

* * *

  ** _8 Months, 1 ½ Weeks_**

* * *

Hiro had a habit of disappearing under everyone’s nose whenever he ran into roadblocks at his projects, but he always made it back before everyone closed up the lab, with red eyes that needn’t be explained and ready with a new idea he was going to try and build either right at that instant (which would always be met with protests of ‘Hiro, go home and sleep!’) or the following day during his free time.

That mild April day, however, Wasabi realised Hiro had been gone for nearly the whole day, having disappeared at around 10 that morning, and, now, at nearing 7:30, he was still missing.

“You don’t think he went somewhere, do you?” Honey asked, frowning a little as she looked towards Hiro’s lab, the door still closed with no sign of the boy genius inside.

“Nah, we’d see it in the log-out report.” Gogo replied dismissively, looking at her laptop, poring over an Excel file of electromagnetics calculations. “He’s still in somewhere on-campus, and besides, Baymax’s case is still there.”

“What if he ran into trouble?” Honey pressed, biting her lip. “I mean, sure, we have those wristbands Hiro made for us to get our suits to come to us anywhere, but his suit isn’t exactly…”

“He’s just somewhere in school. Relax.” Wasabi spoke up from his spot at his work table, where he was reading an e-book for an exam he had tomorrow.

“He’s been gone the whole day. What if he hasn’t eaten yet?” She asked, “You know what he’s like when he’s really concentrated on something.”

“We could go out to find him? I’m a little busy right now, though, I’ve got an exam to study for!” Wasabi looked at her apologetically.

“I’m a no-go,” Gogo piped up, not looking up from her calculations. “Got to hand this in before 11:59 later.”

Honey looked down at her setup on her table, and frowned. “I can’t leave my setup either.”

“I’ll go.” Fred raised his hand, “I mean, it’s not like I’m doing anything right now,” he chuckled.

“Thanks so much, Fred.” Honey smiled at him gratefully, “If you can, could you get him something to eat too?”

“Sure!” the blond grinned and gave her a thumbs-up. “I’ll go get him that huge Burgernator 2000 everyone in the cafeteria’s going crazy over!” he cheerfully announced, before heading right out the lab, narrowly missing Wasabi’s horrified yell at the half-thousand calorie food Fred planned to feed their little Hiro.

Walking alone in the darkening light of the sky, Fred casually looked around the campus, swinging the burger he got Hiro in its paper bag to and fro as his mascot suit made soft padding noises on the concrete.

“If I was an adorable little boy genius stuck on his robotics project, where would I be?” he asked the air around him, looking thoughtful as he slowed to a stop in the middle of the path. “Where would I be…?” Fred turned 360 degrees, squinting at the buildings that surrounded him, slowing down when his eyes settled on the newest building—the Tadashi Hamada Hall.

He vaguely remembered the opening ceremony back then. Hiro had cried accepting the honours from Krei, and that had made the crowd go ‘aww’, and at the time he felt like his superhero movie was ending, the credits rolling, as the ‘where-are-they-now’ montage was playing.

Another thing he remembered was that there was a huge portrait of Tadashi in there.

He thought about Hiro, Tadashi and their relationship, and shrugged.

“Wouldn’t hurt to try,” he said, whistling the end credits song to his ended superhero movie as he walked to the building, a slight bounce in his step as he approached the door. He was expecting for it not to budge as he pushed on it, but it opened for him easily, cutting his song off as he came to a full halt at the door in surprise.

The Hall was open? He wondered, peering inside to find it was completely dark—save for what looked like a burning candlelight at the far end of the hall—where he knew Tadashi’s portrait was, and he knew he had found his little baby _hombre_ (that was French for friend, his mind supplied).

Carefully he stepped inside, closing the door behind him quietly as he walked without a sound, as if carefully stepping around eggshells, and as he got closer to the light he could hear Hiro’s voice talking, speaking in Japanese.

He sounded happy, and that put a smile on Fred’s face as he settled down in the dark, out of sight, watching as Hiro talked to Tadashi’s portrait, which was now on the ground instead of being hung up on the wall. Hiro must have brought it down to talk to it. Beside him was a burner with a single burning incense stick, filling the hall with the scent of sandalwood.

Fred realised in Hiro’s hands was a single dandelion flower, still complete, and unblown, and he watched as the boy put the flower down next to the portrait.

Dandelions. Tadashi liked dandelions.

Fred watched Hiro talk to the portrait for a while about his life right now, how he was happy with Tadashi's friends and the school and how he wished he had listened to his brother earlier or that he was there with him, and the boy’s smile melted into a frown. He began to sniffle, and then soon, cry. Fred’s eyes widened and he made a move forward to comfort the boy, when he stopped, as he saw Hiro look at the portrait, and reach out to it desperately, as if wishing the man in the portrait was real and there with him, and Fred saw a mirror image of himself, looking up at the portrait of his dad back in the big, lonely mansion, and he felt his chest hurt a little.

He knew what Hiro felt. He knew how much it helped, talking to photos that wouldn’t reply.

“Nii-chan,” he heard Hiro whimpering, “Nii-chan, _modotte kure_.”

“ _Onegai_ ,” The boy pressed his forehead to the portrait, and hiccupped. “ _Hitori de shinaide_.”

This was too private to hang around for, Fred decided.

Years of home-taught foreign language taught him what Hiro had said—no, _begged_.

(Big brother, come back. Please, don’t leave me alone.)

He closed his eyes, feeling liquid in them, and stood up, quietly heading out, letting the boy have the space he needed.

He returned to the nerd lab, holding back his tears as he told Gogo, Wasabi and Honey he couldn’t find Hiro, but he was sure he’d come back, before quickly writing on Hiro’s food’s paper bag, leaving it in the boy genius’ lab, before hurriedly excusing himself, telling his friends he was heading home first, claiming a headache.

As he got home, he looked up at his family portrait, staring at his father’s face as he felt the tears that still had yet to come fall from his eyes as he smiled sadly, crying the tears that hadn’t come in months as he sunk down onto the floor in front of the portrait.

“Dad, I finally cried for him,” he managed past his tears, “Last time I did that it was for you.”

He wiped at his eye with his sleeve, and laughed sadly. “Hiro and I really aren’t so different, aren’t we?”

He looked up at the portrait for a long while, his chest aching as he missed his dear friend, before he let Heathcliff pull him back onto his feet calmly, offering his young master his handkerchief. Fred grinned at him, and clapped his arm as he took the handkerchief, wiping at his face.

“Hey, I’m going to have a friend over.” He told the man, and the butler curtly nodded.

“I will begin my preparations.”

“Break out my consoles!” Fred grinned, “This is gonna be a long night.”

* * *

Hiro later found on his desk a paper bag with a huge hamburger inside it and a message in Japanese written on the paper with marker. Frowning, he took out the burger, unwrapped it and took a bite as he read the message:

_Hiro,_

_I miss him too._

_Take as much time as you need in the hall. Your secret’s safe with me._

_Fred_

The boy blinked for a long moment, turning the paper around in his hands, before he smiled slowly and wiped at the corner of his eyes with his hoodie sleeve. “Baymax, oww.”

The inflatable robot immediately activated and approached him.

“You have been crying.” Baymax stated as Hiro turned to face the robot. “Are you in pain? On a scale of—”

“It’s emotional pain, buddy.” Hiro corrected him, “Today, let’s fly.”

“Will flying improve your emotional well-being?” Baymax asked, cocking his head, and Hiro nodded.

“It definitely will.” He replied, pressing a button on the wristband he was wearing, and on the far side of the room, his armour and Baymax’s armour hummed to life and flew towards them, latching on their bodies before sealing shut. “I’ll just log out first and let’s go.”

He turned to type at the computer on the desk, when Baymax piped up, “Go where?”

“To Fred’s.” Hiro replied, getting up and clambering onto Baymax’s back, his dinner’s paper bag fluttering to the ground, another message face-up on it as the two flew out the skylight into the dark evening:

_P.S. head over to my place, I’ve got the latest game you were looking at last Saturday. I’m not gonna lose to you!_

“Aunt Cass,” Hiro spoke into the intercom of his helmet, and on the other side of the line he heard the crackle of his aunt’s voice greeting him. “Tonight, I’m gonna stay over at Fred’s.”

Cass sounded overjoyed. “ _Have fun, honey_!”

“I will,” Hiro replied, hanging up, before Baymax boosted his thrusters, the wind taking away his voice and the single tear that rolled down his face.

“I will.”

* * *

  ** _10 Months, 2 Days_**

* * *

 It was summer in San Fransokyo and that brought with it the heat and the brightly-lit festivals with yellow light and stalls as far as the eye could see.

Honey had insisted they all go, but none of them were prepared to what Hiro would do when they had met up.

The four of them stared at the boy as he let his aunt Cass pull him towards his friends, the woman grinning at them as she gave them a wave.

“Hi, guys!” she greeted as she came to a stop in front of them, “Thanks for agreeing to take care of Hiro! I’ll be going to my friends at the bake club but I’ll be back for him by 11!” She waved them goodbye and left, but all of them were still staring at Hiro.

The boy was in a blue yukata, patterned with ornate, twisting camellias of silver. He also had a red obi, pinned with what looked like a Baymax-shaped pin. From behind him they could see the ribbon where the obi ended, off-centre and at an angle, and it clicked in their heads that this must have been a hand-me-down from Cass, judging from the way the sleeves were slightly tattered, and the clothes were just only a little too long for him.

“You’re adorable,” was the first thing out of Honey’s mouth, and suddenly their little group exploded with excitement as Wasabi couldn’t believe what he was seeing, Gogo was questioning the yukata and Fred was, well, _Fred_.

“Does that grant you powers to look incredibly young?” he quipped, walking around Hiro in a circle, and the boy flushed, his cheeks tinting a lovely shade of red in the orange light of the lamps around them.

“Will you shut up,” he grumbled, hiding his cheeks with his hands and sleeves, as the sound of Baymax’s footsteps caught their attention. They all looked to the robot, and Honey’s eyes widened in delight—he was also wearing a yukata, a bright red one that looked a little too small on him, but it still looked like it fit thanks to the dark red haori draped over his shoulders.

“Oh, Baymax!” Honey squealed upon seeing the robot. He looked at her, blinked for a moment before bowing respectfully, as beside him, Hiro grinned a little despite the flush on his cheeks. “We have _got_ to take a picture of you both! You’re adorable!”

She cooed over them, and got them to pose together for a photo on her phone, before she pulled everyone into the frame and took a selfie with all of them squeezed into the frame.

Soon they started walking around the festival, Gogo lagging in the back and Honey right up front, her arm laced around Hiro’s and her hand in his as she pulled him around excitedly, the two of them talking about next year’s festival and how the whole group should show up in yukatas so they all matched.

Chewing thoughtfully on her gum, she watched her friends, taking in the sight of Wasabi handing around caramel apples (claiming it was just for _one night_ anyway and that at least the apple part was healthy), Fred was attempting to win something at a game booth for Hiro, Honey pulling the boy everywhere around with her, taking photographs at every chance she got, and Baymax waddling behind them all in his red yukata that Gogo knew looked a little familiar.

Her mind returned to two summers back when she and her friends were at this very same road, the five of them, but this time it was Tadashi in the yukata that everyone was teasing him about.

She watched Baymax amble about behind Hiro and Honey, following after them with some difficulty keeping up their speed, and she made a mental note to tell the boy to help the marshmallow bot with his movements as she came up to him and held his pudgy vinyl finger.

“Your neurotransmitter levels indicate that you are… sad.” Baymax quipped as she gripped his finger, and she shrugged, popping her gum.

“Just a little nostalgic, that’s all.” She told the robot, fingering the yukata he was wearing, and grinning a little to find it was in pristine condition, the rich red fabric smooth against her fingertips as the shimmering gold embroidery of koi fish glimmered at her dully in the light of the lanterns around them.

Baymax looked down at where she was holding his yukata and tilted his head.

“Does my wearing of Tadashi’s yukata make me a better healthcare companion?” he asked her, and she looked up at him, blinking for a moment, before smiling sadly as she punched his arm lightly.

“A little,” she replied, before letting him go. “You better watch out for Hiro, Honey might stuff him full of candy tonight and he’ll get sick in the morning.”

“Indeed.” Baymax replied, and his voice sounded a little amused. Gogo raised an eyebrow at that, and grinned slightly. Hiro’s programming for emotional capacity seemed to be working well. He gave her a small bow and waddled away off to where Hiro and Honey was, and she sighed a little rubbing her arm.

His yukata looked brand-new. Tadashi had always been so good at looking after things.

She remembered seeing him for the first time that summer night in that same red yukata, looking everything like a proper lord, and she understood where Honey’s feelings for him came from.

In the light of the lanterns he looked so handsome, his kind smile accentuated with warm shadows as he waved at them when they met up, a bag hanging from his wrist as he hurried over to them.

“So what do you guys think?” he had grinned, turning around when Honey told him to, and Gogo had to admit, okay, wow, Tadashi looked really… hot.

“You look great!” Wasabi had complimented, giving him a thumbs-up, while Fred had said, “Why can’t I get one of those too?”

Honey was blushing as she stammered, “You look really handsome,” and that earned her a little sheepish laugh from Tadashi. Gogo, never one to skirt around things, said outright:

“You look _hot_.”

Tadashi paused at that, flushed deeply, and laughed nervously, scratching the back of his head. “Gosh, uh. Gogo, that’s…” His embarrassment put a smirk on her lips as she punched him lightly in the arm.

“Quit blushing. You’ve got your fan club stalking you everywhere on campus, it’s time you acted like you know you’re a looker.”

“Gogo, _stop_ ,” Tadashi laughed, embarrassed, and Honey agreed.

“G-Gogo,” she scolded her friend half-heartedly, and the black-haired girl eyed her disbelievingly, but she flushed a little more and patted her arm instead of hitting it. “Don’t embarrass Tadashi.”

“No, it’s fine, really,” he waved his hand reassuringly. “I mean, I _did_ ask what you guys thought, and,”

“Oh, is Hiro not coming with you?” Honey asked, cutting him off, clearly wanting to change topic out of mortified embarrassment, and Tadashi’s embarrassment melted away as his face completely lit up.

“Ah, well, he’s not allowed to, hah,” He replied, “I grounded him two days ago when I saw him at a bot fight, so he’s at home right now with Aunt Cass.”

“Isn’t that a little mean?” Wasabi asked, “I mean, sure, he’s grounded, but it’s the summer festival!”

Tadashi’s expression fell at that. “Well, among other things.” He mumbled, “He’s… really hurt. Someone beat him up that day and I… wanted to keep him at home so he can recover.”

Honey gasped a little at that, and Gogo raised her eyebrow. “Isn’t your brother, uh, 12?”

Tadashi sighed exasperatedly. “12, and a senior in high school. Not exactly the typical 12-year-old little brother you’d expect to have.”

“Touché.” Wasabi nodded. “Is he gonna be okay?”

“Yeah. Just a little bed rest and he’ll be out and about by maybe Saturday.” Tadashi shook his head. “I…” his expression looked pained, and Gogo took that as her cue to break the tension.

“Alright, big mister model brother,” she spoke up, catching their attention. “Let’s head around and maybe get something you can bring back to him later as a get-well card.”

Tadashi brightened up at that, and smiled at her kindly, and _no_ , her heart beat did _not_ stutter.

“Thanks, Gogo.” He told her tenderly, before letting Fred jump up and drape his arm over his shoulders.

“Okay, guys! We’re heading to the game stalls first!”

Later on, Tadashi was still at a loss on what to bring his brother, and was looking a little panicked as the night went on, much to the amusement of his friends.

“Brother Complex,” Gogo shook her head, elbowing Wasabi, who was also grinning as they watched Honey, Tadashi and Fred at a shooting-game stall, all of them looking determined to get that large stuffed robot that was proudly on display above their heads.

In the end, their effort was futile as their time ran out, losing rather miserably as Tadashi put the toy gun down on its stand, sighing like he had been told someone was a terminal cancer patient.

“Hey, big boy, _chill_ ,” Wasabi reassured him, patting his back heavily as Tadashi tearfully looked at the stuffed robot on display. “You can’t have everything.”

“We could bring home some cotton candy to him,” Honey suggested, but Tadashi shook his head.

“I want it to last.” He replied, and for a moment, all five of them fell silent. Gogo turned around to look for any options, and her eyes fell on a fish-catching stall.

“How about fish?” she asked, and all of them turned to look at what she was looking at.

Soon after that all five of them were bent over the tank, each holding onto their rice-paper nets and glaring into the water, where small, bright orange fish swum around sedately, unknowing of the tension between them all.

It was an unspoken competition of who could get the one fish that Hiro would have to remember this summer festival he missed. Honey looked a little unsure but determined as she chose one particularly large fish to catch, Wasabi was grinning a little and looking ready to win, Fred was—

“Man, it broke!” he gasped loudly, breaking everyone from their intense glaring at the fish to see that Fred had already tried, and failed, judging from the broken net he had in his hand. They shared a moment to laugh at that, and quickly as it started, it ended and everyone settled back into tense silence.

Gogo spared a glance at Tadashi, and nearly doubled over laughing. Tadashi looked focused, his brow creased and knotted together as he twirled the net in his hand. The times Gogo saw him like that were those times when he was in a quiz bee, or working on a timed project or assignment. He was _dead serious_.

He really loved his brother, didn’t he?

Well, too bad Gogo didn’t know how to back down from a challenge.

Gogo turned back to her targeted fish, a little smaller than the rest but she was confident in her choice—a smaller fish’s struggling against the net would be weaker and wouldn’t break it, but it was at least wasn’t too small. It was just right for a boy as little as Hiro.

Wasabi went first, managing to get his fish out of the water, but it struggled, jumped out of the net, and back into the water. The man gasped in dismay and he dipped his net back into the water again, but it broke upon entering the water.

“I’m out,” he sighed, defeated, and it was Honey’s turn to try.

She managed to get her net close to the fish she was targeting, but as she flicked it up to get it out of the water, it tore under the fish’s weight and by how wet it was. Pouting, she lifted the frame out of the water, and her shoulders slumped.

“I’m out,” she declared sadly.

“My turn,” Gogo piped up, and quickly, she dipped her net under her target and flicked her wrist up equally as fast—catching the fish and some water and tossing it into the sake dish of water she had in her hand. Grinning triumphantly, she held the dish up to show her friends the fish, all of them gaping at her as she handed the fish to the stall manager to get it into a plastic bag. “Beat that, _nii-san_.” She smirked at Tadashi, whose expression was set, brows tight together as he practically _glared_ at her.

“You bet,” he replied, and the tension was high between them that it made Honey and Wasabi slightly nervous.

Tadashi dipped his net into the water, and quickly flicked up a larger fish into his dish.

Honey and Wasabi released a breath they didn’t realise they were holding, and Tadashi, for a moment, looked triumphant as he held up the dish—

When the fish flailed, and ended up jumping out of his dish and onto the ground.

There was a brief moment of panic, as Honey jumped up and squealed in shock, Wasabi screamed and Fred flailed, as Tadashi stood there for a moment, shocked, before he acted quickly, bending down to pick the fish up. The water in his dish sloshed and spilled on his yukata’s sleeve but he paid no attention to it as he closed it in his hand and tossed it back into the tank where the other fish were being held.

For a moment there was tense silence, before Gogo’s voice broke it.

“So… does that mean I win?” she asked, and everyone slowly settled down as Tadashi belatedly realised that, yes, he didn’t have a fish to give to Hiro, and that yes, Gogo won their little face-off.

“I… think so.” He replied slowly, and she grinned.

“Awesome.” The manager handed her the bagged fish, chuckling kindly at their antics. “Looks like I win, brother boy.”

Tadashi looked, well, for the lack of a better term, _destroyed_.

As they walked away from the stall, he dragged his feet, staring at the bagged fish Gogo handed him like a man who had lost everything.

“Dude, it’s just a game.” Wasabi snickered, patting Tadashi on the back, but he shook his head.

“I’m a terrible brother.” He dully mumbled, and Gogo slung her arm over the dejected man’s shoulders (with a little difficulty).

“Nah, you’re just not good at catching fish.” She said, popping her gum, and catching his attention as a tiny smile spread across his lips. “You’re just good at other things, like robotics, and taking care of others.”

He smiled at her, and ruffled her hair affectionately.

“No need to make me feel better about myself, Gogo.” He chuckled. “Come on, let’s go over to the takoyaki stand. I’m hungry.”

Fred, Wasabi and Honey nodded, and went ahead, but Tadashi lagged behind with Gogo and squeezed her shoulder as they walked together.

“Thanks.” He told her, and she shrugged. “How are you doing?”

“I haven’t smoked in months now,” she told him, “You’re right, the gum helps.”

Tadashi beamed at her, and gave her a hug. “I’m so proud of you.” He told her, and she smiled a little, patting his arm as he pulled back.

“You’re not honestly thinking of being _our_ big brother too.” She drawled, but he knew she liked it, as she gave him a light punch on his arm.

“And what if I am?” he asked, looking at the fish she caught, and she laughed, kindly, for once, and nodded.

“Then keep doing it.” She told him, before heading on to meet up with their friends.

Now, standing on the same street, watching as Honey gave Hiro a stick of cotton candy, she sighed, shook her head, and realised how much she missed him.

How so much of her life was so much better because of him.

She turned, drifted away from the group to head to the same fish stand as before. She smiled kindly at the manager, who handed her a net, and she blinked, surprised.

“It’s on me this year.” The kind old woman told her, and she smiled back at her, a little brokenly, a little sadly, and Gogo thanked her before catching a fish not too different from the one Tadashi wanted to catch for Hiro. She had it bagged, and when she came back to her friends, she saw Hiro laughing brightly, cotton candy stick in one hand and a half-eaten caramel apple in another as he watched Wasabi bicker with Honey about what Hiro should be eating at the festival.

“Hey, Hiro.” She called out to him, and he turned around. She nearly laughed when she saw a Baymax mask on his head, nearly obscuring one of his eyes, and she smiled as he hurried to her, eyes wide as he looked at the bagged fish dangling from her wrist. “This is for you.”

He looked up at her, and back at the bagged fish, and he smiled brightly. “Thanks.”

“Tadashi would have wanted you to have it.” She didn’t know if it was appropriate to tell him that, but she could deal with the damage later. “At least, something this size. He said mine was too small.”

He paused for a moment, and looked sad as he smiled at her. “Thank you. Really.”

She scratched the back of her head with her free hand as he took the bagged fish from her, and she grumbled, speaking up again. “You know, when I caught the first fish he gave you, he was pretty much destroyed since he couldn’t get you one.” She said, and he looked at her again, this time with a little grin on his face. “Before all that he was all serious and ready to smack someone down, but when he failed,” she snorted, “ _God_ , his face.”

Hiro laughed at that and shook his head. “Yeah, he’s neurotic like that.”

Gogo snickered at that and ruffled his hair. “Go disperse Honey and Wasabi. They’re gonna end up duking this out in their suits and we are _not_ having that now.”

Hiro nodded, and hurried off, and she watched him go, tearing up.

“Your neurotransmitter levels are dropping.” Baymax quipped beside her. “Would you like a hug?”

“Yeah.” She said, and Baymax pulled her into his soft, warm embrace, and she swears she could feel Tadashi hugging her again as she smelled him from the yukata Baymax was wearing.

For the first time in months, she finally cried.

They stood there together for a long moment, before she pulled away, face set.

“I’m going for a smoke.” She declared.

“Smoking is hazardous to your health.” Baymax replied, and she patted his arm.

“Just one stick. Tell them I’ll be at the bridge if they need me.” She ordered. “I’ll be fine. Just tell them to go on without me.”

Baymax regarded her for a long moment, before nodding and waddling away. Gogo watched him leave, and when she was out of sight, she headed to a nearby convenience store and bought one cigarette stick, had it lit and headed out to the bridge to look up at the full moon high above her head.

As she smoked, the familiar feeling of the burn in her lungs and nicotine in her blood, she tried not to think about how Tadashi died the same way, and cried.

* * *

  _ **1 Year**_

* * *

 It was one year since he was gone, and while it still hurt, he felt a little better, a little less destroyed.

But now, smiling and moving on with his new friends, new family, new _life_ —he was getting better.

He stood, alone, in the middle of the night, in front of his brother’s portrait in the hall named after him, smiling, in a black suit and wearing a black veil over his face as he held an incense stick in his hands. By his feet, a golden candle burned in a metal container, casting the area around him in a dim glow, and beside him, Baymax stood quietly, his own stick of sandalwood incense burning, sandwiched between pudgy white vinyl fingers.

“In Philippine culture, there’s this thing called _babang luksa_.” He said to his brother’s portrait, smiling as he thumbed the incense in his hands. “I—I learned about it in class the other day. D’you know what it means?”

The portrait didn’t reply, of course, but Hiro kept talking.

“It means to lower the black veil, signalling the end of a year of mourning.” He took a shaky deep breath, and spoke again. “I miss you lots, big brother. There are so many things I wish you were around to see.” He looked down at his wrist, where there was a single healed scar running across it, and he winced, blinking back tears. “There were times when it got really bad. The loneliness—I, I wanted to see you again, and sometimes the sadness was too much.”

He sniffled, and snuggled into Baymax’s side, the robot reaching around his shoulders and squeezing him reassuringly.

“But I made it, and here we are, one year later.” He said. “I know that me hanging all over you like this isn’t what you wanted for me, and that’s what kept me through all these months.”

He pressed a tender kiss to the Tadashi in the portrait’s cheek through the black veil.

“Thanks, big brother. For never giving up on me.” He grasped the end of the black veil, and smiled past the tears that started rolling down his cheeks. “Here’s to more years ahead.”

He pulled on the veil, feeling the hairpins in his hair protest, but they gave away and the veil slipped down, fluttering to the ground and landing in the fire, burning quietly until it was ashes scattered in the container around the candle.

He smiled at the portrait, in tears, but he felt so much lighter.

“I’ve moved on, nii-chan.” He softly said. “I hope you’re proud of me.”

He had Baymax return the portrait to the wall as he picked up the candle’s container.

“Baymax, let’s go home.” He said, and the robot nodded, ambling after Hiro as the two of them walked to the door.

Just as Hiro opened the door, he felt a cool wind caress his back, and he could _swear_ he could hear a familiar voice whisper in his ear.

 _I’m so proud of you_.

Hiro’s eyes filled with tears again, as he sniffled, turning around to face the darkness, and wind blew past him, snuffing out the candle in his container, plunging his world in darkness.

He felt phantom hands on his face, and a soft phantom kiss on his hair, but he wasn’t scared. He would never be scared of _him_.

“I love you, nii-chan.” He quietly whispered, and he felt a cool hug around him as Baymax opened the door behind him.

 _I love you too_.

Hiro nodded, teary-eyed, and began to walk outside, as Baymax cocked his head and looked into the darkness.

“Baymax, c’mon!” Hiro called him from outside.

For a moment, Baymax looked into the darkness, before turning and heading outside into the night air.

“Tadashi was here.” He said, and the door slammed shut behind him.

**Author's Note:**

> anyway thank you for reading this fic  
> babang luksa is a legit thing in the Philippines, where when someone dies, anyone they loved can mourn them for a whole year, wearing black to remember them and on the anniversary day they may wear coloured clothing so as if to signify that they are in the end moving on from the death  
> or somethign along the lines of that idk  
> i was listening to seasons of love from RENT on loop so idk what i was doing 95% of the time haha;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
> 
> anyway headcanon time:  
> \- Hiro calls Tadashi nii-chan when they're in private AND BEING AFFECTIONATE. Other than those times he absolutely refuses to call him, even though when he was younger he used that term all the time, and Tadashi really misses those days when Hiro was so much cuter (I mean, he's cute _now_ but) and called him such a cute name
> 
> \- it took the gang much longer than Hiro to mourn, since they had only managed to spend only so much time with Tadashi as compared to Hiro. That's why when they did finally cry, it really was such a big thing to them to realise that, yes, Tadashi's death was just as bad to them as it was for Hiro.
> 
> \- Abigail Callaghan is now a family friend and was the one who painted Tadashi's portrait inside the Tadashi Hamada Hall.
> 
> \- Allistar Krei is the official funder for the Big Hero 6.
> 
> \- Tadashi's handwriting is purposely bad at school because Callaghan had told them to be careful with their ideas and how easily they could fall into someone else's hands, so it was more of a safety precaution than an actual habit. His notebooks and letters to Hiro at home are a completely different story, haha.
> 
> \- Tadashi and the gang used to have long-winding Facebook group chats which involve about 50% of it Tadashi talking about Hiro.
> 
> \- There's an unused yukata in the Hamada household, bright yellow, meant for Tadashi to wear the year he died. Yukata idea btw came from [this beautiful post](http://sagasogo.tumblr.com/post/103011336879/based-on-vanillagelato-s-prompt-hiro-and%22). 
> 
> \- Honey was in love with Tadashi, but he couldn't see it and didn't return her affections.
> 
> \- Gogo was an ex-smoker. Before she met Tadashi and the gang, she smoked like a chimney, and when they finally met in the nerd lab, Tadashi tested Baymax's medical scanner on his labmates, and found out she was in high risk of developing lung cancer. He immediately stormed to her place, broke her cigarette and gave her a lollipop instead, annoying her completely (they weren't as close then) and resulting in hilarious competition between the two both in class and in the lab. He consistently keeps breaking her cigarettes and gives her alternatives, eventually sticking to gum, and finally, out of annoyed defeat, Gogo decided to just chew gum instead of smoke just to get Tadashi to stop nagging her. In a month she saw improvements in her health and for her friends' sake, decided to stop smoking altogether. She owes her life to Tadashi for doing what he did.
> 
> \- Fred's actually home schooled back when he was younger and can speak 5 languages, but his mind's a bit of a muddle and he mixes up some meanings here and there. The foreign language he's most proficient in, conveniently, is Japanese. 
> 
> \- Tadashi haunts the hall named after him. Someone write a fic of this omg
> 
> anyway this was getting too long haah gomen thanks for reading again


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